Disgraced Adam Johnson To Continue Playing Football Even If Convicted

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Ex- Premiership footballer Adam Johnson will arrive at Bradford Magistrates Court tomorrow morning to hear the Judge’s final comments on his case before the jury deliberate.

Over the weekend bookies slashed the odds on Johnson getting ‘sent down’ but after sparking a huge amount of interest from prisons which have teams in the English Prison Football League (EPFL); the question on everybody’s lips is: which prison will he be sent to?

Philomena Todger, governor of HMP Wakefield, is delighted by the fact Johnson may be housed within her walls.

“It’s great news,” she said. “We’re giddy with anticipation of a Premier League star playing for us. Hopefully he’ll arrive before this season ends but if not; we’ll wait until August before the new season.”

But geography is playing an important part of where Johnson will be sent. HMP’s Northumberland and Durham both believe they are in with a shout considering Johnson still played for Sunderland even whilst being investigated.

“…Jermaine Pennant, who illegally hunted badgers…”

Clarke Piss-sparrow, manager of HMP Durham football club Durham Slashers, said: “We’re hoping he gets a five year sentence, then we can take a serious look at the team getting out of the bottom three before pushing on to a top four finish in future seasons. Johnson would be an important factor in that.”

The practice of allowing footballers who’ve been jailed to play for the prison teams came about in 1990 when Tony Adams, serving 56 days for drunkenly riding endangered turtles in a zoo, was instrumental in helping HMP Chelmsford win the league title after only playing four games.

But should the crime of which the prisoner has committed be taken into account? Unlike jailed footballers Joey Barton, who repeatedly ignored one way street signs or Jermaine Pennant, who illegally hunted badgers; Johnson’s crimes are far more serious.

Dr Malcolm Lubesheath; thinks it should: “This isn’t a game. Johnson has to do his time for his crime and he must do it like an ordinary prisoner, not a version of himself from the outside world. The likes of him or any other footballer should not be treated any differently.”

Dr Lubesheath also referenced the 2014 undercover report at HMP Manchester where the prison was found to be treating their football team with unfavourable fairness including having other inmates forced to massage players, unlimited use of social media and frequent trips to Hollywood Bowl after match wins. The team were also allowed to train at Manchester United’s Carrington training complex in preparation for a cup final tie against HMP Leeds.

Minister for prisons, Sedgeway Arsebleach MP, has ordered a review of the prison sport system and will take his findings to a parliamentary meeting next Wednesday.

Photo used belongs to http://www.bbc.co.uk

 

 

Chris Hewitt’s indie-published children’s book Saving Christmas is available to buy in paperback and Kindle on Amazon worldwide

www.amazon.co.uk/Saving-Christmas-Chris-Hewitt/dp/1539101479

Also available on iBooksKobo, Barnes & Noble Nook and Smashwords.com

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Noel Gallagher To Release Discovered 1994 Oasis Track For Manchester Charity

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One half of Manchester’s most famous brothers has agreed to release a previously lost Oasis track with all proceeds going to Manchester’s Canal Guardrail Charity (MCGC) who will use the proceeds to build guardrails on the tow paths of all of the city’s canal sides.

The charity, headed by Skip Flipper, is hoping to put an end to the recent spate of accidents and possible murders across the city’s canal network. “It’s time for change,” said Mr Flipper. “We needed action and luckily for us Noel has agreed to help our plight by making canals safe again.”

Noel discovered the track on cassette after a lengthy spell in his attic attempting to evict a family of pigeons who’d taken residence in the eaves of the singer’s London home.

Spokesperson for Mr Gallagher, Liz Balltickle, explained: “He’d separated everything the pigeons had shit on to be thrown out, which was mostly songs Liam had written but amongst them he found some old demo’s and decided to release the track for charity.”

“…[It’s] a sort of homage to the Scottish group The Proclaimers…”

The song, entitled Sunshine Saturdays, was written by Noel and recorded during the group’s three week recording session at Felch Farm in Stockport, the home of legendary record producer Zeb Knuckle. During that time other Manchester bands such as Rim Lords, Slagtastic and Shelby Johnson & the Piss Pots recorded seminal albums, however, none of them reached the dizzy heights of fame quite like Oasis.

Winston Vesuvius, editor of Manchester record magazine Fuck Digital said: “I originally saw Oasis perform the track when they played one of their first gigs in The Goblin’s Bollock pub just off Whitworth Street. The song was unique because both Liam and Noel swapped vocal duties after each line in a sort of homage to the Scottish group The Proclaimers. I’d never given up hope of hearing it again.”

But Ms Balltickle was quick to quash any rumours of an Oasis reunion. “No fucking chance; Noel’s too busy with his band. Over the years he has become concerned with public safety on Manchester canals and see’s the MCGC as a worthwhile cause. He’s been prolific about the subject on Twitter and Instagram and at live shows he regularly encourages fans not to use the canal towpaths as a means to get home.”

Sunshine Saturdays is released on March 1st and if you would like to donate to the MCGC go to www.MCGC.co.uk/gotasparequidmate

Photo belongs to The Manchester Evening News

 

 

Chris Hewitt’s indie-published children’s book Saving Christmas is available to buy in paperback and Kindle on Amazon worldwide

www.amazon.co.uk/Saving-Christmas-Chris-Hewitt/dp/1539101479

Also available on iBooksKobo, Barnes & Noble Nook and Smashwords.com