One of Manchester’s prolific businessmen Philip Prince found himself declared legally dead after staff at the city’s council offices are believed to have inputted the wrong data, alerting both hospitals and GM Police. The mix up came after the death of the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip on Friday morning.
Prince’s wife of twenty years was woken in the early hours of Saturday morning at their eight-bedroom mansion in the leafy suburb of Suckle, where specially trained bereavement officers broke the news and presented a framed death certificate.
“She was surprised,” said Mr Prince’s solicitor Shat O’Queef. “Especially as he was standing next to her at the time. They said he’d died of natural causes at ninety-nine. My client is fifty-three.”
Despite fierce protests from Prince’s family, GM Police refused to back down from their claim, going as far as having Mr Prince taken from his property by mortuary staff.
The magnate’s vast empire stretches across the city. As well as owning numerous properties, including three floors of the city’s new Nipple tower, Mr Prince is responsible for kick starting the city’s food boom.
In 2012 he founded Slop the restaurant famous for combining all the diner’s courses into one bucket. He later opened Gag Ball the UK’s only S&M eatery, and Hookers the Michelin starred restaurant staffed entirely by sex workers.
In 2012 he founded Slop the restaurant famous for combining all the diner’s courses into one bucket.
A spokesman for GM Police said: “We’re aware of the family’s claims and we’re working hard to find a beneficial solution to the late Mr Prince’s unfortunate situation.”
Asked whether there’d be a quick resolution, O’Queef replied: “We face an uphill battle to prove my client is living. Unfortunately, my client actually being present is not enough to convince.”
After Prince’s GP confirmed he was alive and heathy, council chiefs suggested Dr Marmaduke Knuckleshuffle, leading coroner for the city, perform an autopsy to confirm whether death was present. A request Prince’s solicitor declined.
Fist Gibbon, a crime analyst, claimed Mr Prince’s predicament unearths a bigger problem. “He’s been erased from all databases,” said Gibbon. “He’s a ‘ghost’ with impunity from any crime he commits. If he decided to go on a murder spree, or worse, refuse to socially distance, there’s nothing the police can do.”
“We sincerely hope the late Mr Prince doesn’t act on this,” the GMP spokesman warned. “Even though he’s dead, we’ll be watching him.”
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