Police Lock Down Manchester Hospital After Vital Human Organ Stolen


One of Manchester’s top hospitals St. Sharts in Middleton was on lock down this morning following the theft of a vital organ intended for a patient transplant.

“We believe the opportunistic thieves struck the transplant van at 4am this morning,” said DCI Tracey Flashgash. “The driver had parked his vehicle outside A&E department but had left it unlocked whilst attempting to locate a toilet.”

Dr Spruce Winnit, the director of nursing for St. Sharts, said: “The intended recipient of the organ has been told about the theft and his family are praying for a fatal accident to hopefully befall someone by Wednesday at the absolute latest.”

Flynn Muff, investigative journalist for Manchester magazine Clout, explained: “This is the third case of organ theft within the region and we are now getting a grim picture of how extensive the organ black market has become in the city.”

Flynn’s most famous story was hospital nurse Batty McFlange who in 2009 was arrested in the Arndale centre attempting to sell human eyes to Flynn in return for Argos vouchers. He also exposed the back street dentists using rotten teeth stolen from dental waste bins as replacements in unsuspecting patients mouths.

“…his new knee was in fact from a cow and it was attached backwards.”

“At first it was breast implants with water balloons,” said Mr Muff. “Then it was toothpaste being used in penis enlargements. These days how can you be sure where your new lung has come from?”

Last year Quinton Areola from Ashton-Under-Lyne needed a knee replacement urgently but because of NHS waiting times he was forced to find a back street ‘doctor’ willing to do the operation for a slight monetary fee.

Mr Areola said: “When I gave him the money he assured me it was safe. His surgery was in abandoned warehouse.”

When Mr Areola awoke he discovered to his horror that his new knee was in fact from a cow and it was attached backwards.

Black marketers are also searching for people in financial dire straits in the hope of buying organs from them. GMP are acknowledging that so called ‘cash for organs’ is becoming dangerous after a drug addict was found in Piccadilly Gardens having sold a kidney for two wraps of heroin and a Cornetto.

DCI Flashgash asked the public to be vigilant. “Just be aware of anyone buying large amounts of ice or if you hear of anyone in a pub trying to sell a liver then we ask you please call us.”

Photo belongs to http://www.bbc.co.uk



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